Chinese Funeral

The Funeral of Karen's Grandmother
Oct 28, 2008

One of my very favorite people in Hong Kong and maybe in the world is Karen Yiu. Karen is the secretary at the office in HK, but she is also my guardian angel in China.
Whenever I need anything, Karen is always there with her shining smile to help me out. So when I heard that her grandmother had died I wanted to do whatever I could to get to the funeral. Fortunately for me the flight I had back to Asia was through HK and the very nice people at JFK allowed me to do a layover for a week, so that I could make the funeral. It is so refreshing to know that there are still people out there who are willing to be helpful and accommodating when they can.

I arrived in HK Oct 23, having left Burlington, VT the day before whlie it was snowing! And, yes, my Mom & I did manage to get into the lake the day before I left. The paper said the lake temp was 55 and it felt it! But I made my challenge - got into the lake everyday that I was in NY! SO, here in HK the temp is in the low 90's, so quite an adjustment. It feels good to return to a place that I know. The company has an apartment in Kowloon, in a great area for exploring & eating. John arrived in HK Oct 25 & it sure was good to see him!

Last night (Oct 28) was the funeral. I had attended a funeral here before so was somewhat familiar with the process. Fortunately Karen was at the door where we got envelops for giving money to the family. It is very important to make sure you give an odd amount (even amounts are for happy occassions). The family then gives you an envelop that has a piece of candy (so you will have a sweet life), a HK$1 coin (for good luck), and a tisssue (for crying into). I remembered from the last funeral that you have to make sure to use all of these items before you get home or it will bring bad luck into your house.

When we entered the large hall, we were instructed by a man in a white robe to stand in front of the alter (where there are many flowers, incense, and a photo of Grandma) and bow 3 times, then we had to turn to the family who were gathered in one corner and bow to them 3 times, then they bowed to us 3 times. We then were introduced to Karen's family. The women were dressed in black or white robes with pointy hoods on them. The men wore white woven vests & a white headband with a red dot in the middle on the forehead. They were very appreciative that we had come.

Then Karen asked if we wanted to see her Grandmother. Of course we said yes - out of respect. We were taken behind the alter in a closed area & behind a glass wall there was Grandma with an embroidered silk blanket over her, just her head was showing. She looked very peaceful! We bowed to her too.

Next Karen showed us the paper items that had been collected to be burned with Grandma the next day. The belief is that if you send your loved ones off with these items it will make their life in the afterworld more comfortable & easier. The first thing she showed us was a full sized reclining lounge chair with massage remote control (all made of paper). There was also a small car, a few houses that were probably about 4 feet tall & maybe 2 feet by 4 feet. They were very elborately decorated & furnished. There was a full size majong table with only 3 people sitting at it, the other spot was left empty for Grandma. There were also several silver & gold stairways. These are to help the person climb from hell to heaven & be sure they have plenty of gold & silver with them.

We were then instructed by the "host" (the man who sort of runs the funeral) to have a seat to watch the ceremony. He explained that 5 Chinese "priests" would perform a ritual that is supposed to help the person break through from hell to heaven. The Chinese believe that everyone goes to hell first & depending on how they lived their life, they remain there until they're allowed to move on. There are many offerings made by the family to help the person move on more quickly. I do not know the significance of the parts of the ceremony & Karen said she didn't either & she didn't know what the priest were saying.

4 of the priests put on bright blue silk robes and one wore a red robe. They had square hats with flaps down the back. There was music supplied by a drum, 2 reed type instruments & 2 very loud symbol players. 2 of the priests had little drums & bells that they played during the ceremony. There was a small block of something (maybe a candle) placed in the middle of the floor & lit on fire. Then 8 tiles were placed around the fire & paper was placed on top of the tiles. The priests gathered in a circle & chanted, then they walked around the fire several times. They would stop & one would light the paper on top of one of the tiles. Then the 5 of them would dance very fast & weave in & out of each other & over the fire in the middle. While they were doing this the music got very loud. They stopped & the priest in red pulled a sword out of his sleeve, waved it around a few times & then hit the flaming tile & broke it. This was repeated until all of the tiles were broken (about 20 minutes). Then the head priest (the one in red) did more dancing with a lantern & some flowers. At one point he threw something on the fire & it went about 5 or 6 feet in the air, nearly hitting the ceiling. It was amazing that their robes didn't catch on fire as they were jumping & dancing around the flame. When they were done a woman came in & swept away all of the debrie.

When we left we again bowed 3 times to the alter with Grandma's photo & then 3 times again to the family. I'm very glad that we got to experience this, but mostly I'm glad we could be there to show our support for Karen.